Things to do, later.

What is it about me that needs and thrives off of structure, planning, cleanliness, and organization yet dreads some activities that involve just that?

A few examples:

I don't mind dusting and vacuuming our bedroom but I hate washing dishes and cleaning the bathrooms.

I love to pencil in appointments and due dates on my calendar but I hate opening gmail and reading through my emails especially if I have to respond.

I love the feeling after a great walk or workout at the gym when I happen to go but I hate, really hate, thinking all day, "I NEED to go this afternoon" so much that a lot of times I talk myself out of it.

I love to buy a few new garments or accessories every once in a while when I find something great unexpectedly or on sale but when I have a gift card or money saved up and go out to look for something I get overwhelmed and want to give up 10 minutes after I start shopping.

My car needs gas but I hate stopping to get it and the same goes for grocery shopping... i love food and a stocked and organized pantry/fridge but I usually dread the grocery store.

And I love my little dog more than any other little dog in the world but why do I say for weeks, "I need to get her groomed" or "bathe her and comb her out 1,000,000 times" before I make the appointment?

Those are just to name a few.

I really do wonder why I have so many inner hesitations about little stuff that really aren't that big of a deal. It is odd. Or is it normal? What are some things you dread or put off that make you feel good once you get it done?

New Year brings New Home

Nick and I visited our new Church home this morning. Over the Christmas Holiday, within the span of about 7 days, Nick was offered a Youth Pastor position at a nearby church and he accepted. I compare my feelings of sitting in the pew this morning to the feelings I had when we did our first "walk through" in the house that we live in now. It just felt right. I looked at the structure of the sanctuary and the lighting. I closed my eyes and listened to the organ and the piano play. I smiled back at hundreds of welcoming faces and most importantly I received inspiration from the sermon and restoration through Communion. When we looked at our house, the same day we made the offer to buy, I walked into the back yard and all the way back to the fence. I wanted to see what our home looked like from a point of view that not many people would see. Yes, curb appeal is important, but for me I wanted to picture this house as my home by looking at it through the eyes of a girl expecting big things to happen at this home: nights spent on the porch with friends, reading a book while basking in the sun, playing ball with our little Ali Carrie, and chasing toddlers around with bare feet. Sitting in the front of the church I did a similar exercise. I wondered who I would see give testimonies. I pictured youth going through Confirmation under the leadership and guidance of Nick. I pictured that my own children would be called for the kids' minute in front of everyone before heading off to their own services during Children's Church. Big decisions need assuring moments and visions such as these to help us be at peace and have expectation for the upcoming journey.

I could not be happier for my husband as I know that he is excited and rejuvenated to serve in this area of ministry. Mentoring kids, particularly, junior and senior high school youth aged people is a big responsibility... a task that quite frankly I feel he could not be more "qualified" to do. I love that my husband loves his job. I love that he appreciates and savors every moment of his daily routine in the commute to work, the preparations and correspondences he conducts at his desk while sipping his coffee and listening to some Mr. Tony or other podcast no doubt, the contacts and relationships, the traveling for mission trips and retreats, as well as some of the challenges. I hope that I will be a useful partner to him in ministry... I wake up most mornings feeling like, "thank goodness I married him... where would I be had if not been for our swift dating period, engagement and marriage?" I shutter at the thought of whom else I could have settled for and my life without my children. I am also very thankful for the so much more than just "approval" that my family has for him. It has been such a blessing to see him grow as a person, husband, student, and youth pastor over the past 4 1/2 years. I cannot wait to see my expectations and visions for us and our future unfold. Congratulations my Love!

I Don't Want A Lot For Christmas...

It would seem that "blogging is dead" as one friend of mine put it. I don't want that to be the case. It is just that I don't make the time to sit down and enjoy this ole' hobby like I used to. Another friend posted in his blog about writing letters to Santa. So here is mine.

Dear Santa,

I know I have been a naughty girl this year, and the year before that, and the year before that. But hopefully there are some nice things I have done that will out-weigh all of the bad. I watched "Miracle on 34th" last night and smiled at the end when Doris signed off of Susan's letter to you saying "I believe in you too." So if I deserve to make any requests here is what I am asking for, though none of it can be wrapped and be put under our tree...

A new year with new attitudes and new changes that will make my life better (this is not a resolutions post). I mean it. I want to really experience and express gratitude every day both for what has been given to me and for what I have worked for. I want to learn to share. I want to clean out what is not needed to make room for what truly is. I want to stop being my worst critic. I want to make goals and actually follow through in achieving those goals. I want to start making and keeping promises. I want to stop complaining. I want to learn to forgive. I want to stop being afraid, nervous, and anxious at times. I want to do something I didn't think that it was possible for me to do. I want to go to church. I want to everyday with my husband and my babies to be the best day. I want to teach my children lessons that they will use when doing good in the world. I want to start writing things down for them. I want to start writing captions on the backs of photos like our ancestors did and making photo albums. I want to hang a lot of pictures on the walls like families do in the movies.

That is really all I can think of right now. It isn't a complicated list and like I said, you can't wrap any of this up for under the tree and you can't unwrap it and show it off to your friends. But I have given it thought, and am still giving it thought, and for Christmas this year, these are the things that I really really want.

Sincerely,

Laura

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving Day. We went to my mom and dad's house and visited and filled our plates! We ate a non traditional meal of standing rib roast, mashed potatoes, green beans, rice pilaf, spinach souffle, and of course pecan pie. My favorite dish was the from scratch green bean casserole my dad made with "real" green beans, cream, mushrooms, butter, and home made onion rings. It was so good I had two large helpings. We took our mom and dad Christmas picture as seen below. After lunch the babies played in the fall leaves. Every year I have more and more to be thankful for which is sometimes just overwhelming. This time last year my children were battling RSV and pneumonia and just barely over 8 pounds. Now they are so healthy, walking, and asking "wha's Daaa!?" for "what's that!?" Also, I think Harper has picked up some of my language and started saying, "das shwee" for "that's sweet." Love it.

Today Nick is out picking up our Christmas tree for our traditional day after Thanksgiving Christmas decorating. I am really really looking forward to this Holiday season because the babies will be true participants. They stare in wonder at the pink tree in their room. They enjoy ripping paper and they listen to stories. We have the perfect Nativity for them to hold and play with as they get older as they listen to the story of how baby Jesus was born. I picture my Nativity being passed down to my great great grandchildren and their mother telling them they can hold the lamb and the shepherd and her thinking how special it will be that generations of little sticky fingers have played and listened with these little figurines.